Perplexing Perspective...

So...I know what you must be thinking.  "It's been so long since that Nilima girl blogged anything", "I've missed that Nilima girl's blogging", or "Ugh...I was so happy that Nilima girl was no longer blogging...and now this?".  Or rather..."OMG...Nilima blogged?"...or..."Wait, who's Nilima?".  Alright...so I have no idea what you must be thinking.  I can tell you, though, that it has been way too long since I last wrote a post.

In fact, it's been around 4 years since I last blogged anything...and I feel like I don't know how to go about doing it anymore.  I guess (if you're medically-oriented) you could say I've acquired some sort of blogging apraxia.  I used to be able to more eloquently put into words what I was feeling and thinking and now it's become so unnatural a thing to me.  Maybe that's because I've been forced to write patient notes, write-ups, reports and all things technical/medical for the past three years.  ANYWHO, that's besides the point.

Since my third year of medical school seems to be coming to an end, I figured it was about time I try to resurrect this bloggy-thingy.  And who knows...it might start joggin' my noggin into crafting a personal statement...which brings me to my next point...

ERAS OPENED TODAY.  I mean...this isn't as stress-inducing as application-submitting might be...but I'm still hyperventilating a bit.  This coming week alone, I have my last OSCE and shelf exam of my third year of medical school, I have to finalize my speech for my brother's wedding (woot woot he's getting married!), I have to finalize some blips in my 4th year schedule, and now....ERAS opened.  This probably isn't a big deal...but in the moment the e-mail buzz-buzzed into my inbox...it was like the digital straw breaking the proverbial medical-school-camel's back.  The stress didn't really set in until my drive home when it dawned on me that a lot of important things in my life are coming to a head.  I suppose it's a bit dramatic but I feel as if I've been wading in the shallow end of the pool all these years and somehow I didn't realize that I've actually drifted into the deep end without my Floaties on.  I guess I'll be treading water for the next year...manageable right?

As I continued to daydream on my drive home, the stress just seemed to pile on.  When I finally reached home after the horrendous Memorial Day Weekend traffic-jam-fest, my aunt (who came alllll the way from India in anticipation of my brother's wedding) was there to greet me! Although she never completely picked up English, she's learned quite a bit over the past few years.  After not having seen me for 14 years, the first thing she did was pinch my cheeks...which are still as chubby as they've ever been.  Then, with what English she did know, she told me she was so proud of me for being in medical school.  She wished me the best of luck this coming year and for some reason, the stress seemed to dissipate.  I'm sure it'll come back just as quickly as it vanished but I began to realize how awesome it is that I'm on this journey.  Sure I stress about everything under the sun, but I've forgotten to be grateful that I'm even in medical school - trying to accomplish something some people don't even have the opportunity to do.  I guess I'll try to remember this in the coming months...but...who knows.  I'll probably go back to reading my Neurology review book in two minutes...and start panicking all over again.  Maybe it's the thought that counts?

Current Song: John Mayer - Stop This Train

Comments

  1. The Raddest Chick Around6/28/2014 02:25:00 PM

    I have taken the approach to not even touch ERAS until I have final versions of my documents, which helps me to dissipate the stress. If I don't break every task down into 100 I would just be hyperventilating always. You are a genius and you are going to be amazing, just remember that gurlllll! xoxoxoxoxoxo YOUR FUTURE ROOMMATE

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

And After

September 13th, 2023 To live a life without regrets,      One on your own terms and in your own way,     Of your own rules, a mold of your own clay. As a guide, led by those before you,     An obligation to those who come after you,     To those who have lost their light,     To those in a new land, a new culture, a new life. As an exemplar, a role model, a bastion of support,     A father, grandfather,     Partner, brother, uncle, mother,     Sister, friend, chosen family     A source for those in need. As a constant presence,     To express love, affection, adoration,     Even with words or without. To be relied upon and be reliable,     Food on the table,     Clothes on their backs,     For those you cherish to never want for anything. To celebrate the wins, however simple,     But to never forget the losses -- however small. To find the tiniest moments of joy, the humor --      But to not dismiss the pangs of sadness,     The impetus for growth. To continue the legacy of those who
Read more

Thanksgivings Past

November 23rd, 2023 Dear Nandini, I remember half days at school, movie afternoons spent when our collective attention spans had all but vanished.  More time for video games and sleeping in and later on, more time for homework assignments over the long weekend.  For some reason, Jurassic Park reruns occupied the primetime slot on NBC and I was too young to appreciate the holiday-themed Friends episodes at the time.  Don't worry, I do now.  They were times filled with cheer and festivity -- and life!  Constant chatter filled our home, laughter and amusement.  The excitement over Black Friday sales -- the draft of the Christmas wish-list.  I miss it all.  As I got older, I remember chipping in a bit more at the Thanksgiving table -- helping with the sides, mostly just bothering people in the kitchen.  Eventually, I was in charge of dessert -- though I've lost track of the amount of times Ma yelled at me for using granny smith apples in the pie...It felt like we spent less time to
Read more

To Have & Make Room

March 6th, 2024 Friendships of childhood seem so fickle. Fleeting? Maybe those aren't the right words.  So easy to come by in some ways.  A biology project in common, a shared less-than-stellar teacher you felt an allied annoyance of, the struggles of running the 1.5 miles on Fridays in P.E. -- they were connections made in proximity, united by something shared, at very specific points in our lives.  It's interesting to think about how quickly some of those friendships came and went -- how quickly you moved on from one another when you realized you were hitting those pre-teen or teen milestones at different rates.  And not in a bad way by any means -- it just felt like you were experiencing different things at different times and maybe outgrew one another at just as unpredictable a pace. It's interesting to think about some of those childhood friendships that remained and wonder why that is.  I think many of us can think about those that we've stayed in touch with -- th
Read more