Alone
January 11th, 2023 Dear Nandini, I have never felt more alone than I do these days. And I don't think I mean lonely. I feel surrounded by people but I just don't seem to be connecting with them the way I usually do. The hang-outs feel forced or I feel detached -- or I just feel like I'm pretending to be happy. Everything feels like effort. To get off the couch, out of bed, to the gym, into the shower -- it's all more effort than it's ever been. Sleeping for at least 10 hours -- and I still wake up exhausted. Not always -- but often. The last time I felt this way, I was 17 or 18. I remember that being a particularly difficult time as high school was ending and we were all going off to college and the uncertainty that brought was significant. I remember having days where I would just burst into tears at the most innocuous statement. It's one of those things where you're feeling so much but have no idea how to articulate any of it. You try, but you c