A Letter for My Sister
June 1st, 2020 -- 5:15PM Dear Nandini, I've come back to this opening line for the past 1.5 years though every time I did, I was never really sure what to say or how to organize my thoughts. Every few months, I'd pick up this journal -- stare at the words and set it down again. To be honest, I still don't know what to say but I think it's time. So, here goes. We somehow got to a point in our lives where I dreaded talking to you. In fact, I couldn't even stand to hear about you from Mom + Dad. If I didn't know what was going on -- then I couldn't feel all the emotions I usually did: anger, confusion, sadness, but most of all -- helplessness. I could protect myself, I guess -- bury myself in the obligations of school and casually continue to think that my friend- and me-centric views would erase anything that was going on with you. It was selfish, I suppose -- immature. I'm embarrassed to say that I felt relief every holiday I knew you