Alone
January 11th, 2023 Dear Nandini, I have never felt more alone than I do these days. And I don't think I mean lonely. I feel surrounded by people but I just don't seem to be connecting with them the way I usually do. The hang-outs feel forced or I feel detached -- or I just feel like I'm pretending to be happy. Everything feels like effort. To get off the couch, out of bed, to the gym, into the shower -- it's all more effort than it's ever been. Sleeping for at least 10 hours -- and I still wake up exhausted. Not always -- but often. The last time I felt this way, I was 17 or 18. I remember that being a particularly difficult time as high school was ending and we were all going off to college and the uncertainty that brought was significant. I remember having days where I would just burst into tears at the most innocuous statement. It's one of those things where you're feeling so much but have no idea how to articulate any of it...